I’m a big fan of Stephen King.
I’ve read all of the Dark Tower series, IT, The Shining, and Doctor Sleep. And my favorite movie of all time is one based on his novel. Rita Hayworth and The Shawshank Redemption.
So, at the recommendation of multiple friends who told me this was their favorite book, I finally I started reading 63/11/22.
Here’s the premise that will make your head explode:
On November 22, 1963, three gunshots rang out in Dallas, President Kennedy died, and the world changed forever.
What if you could go back?
Stephen King’s stunningly dramatic new novel is a 1,000-page epic that tells the story of a man who travels back in time to stop the assassination of JFK.
Like all good nerds, I’ve devoted way too much brain power to hypothetical time travel, butterfly effects, and changing the past. I think you are too.
Time travel is a very fascinating idea. Because our brains can’t help but think about “the road less traveled” and “What if I had done X instead of Y?”
So let’s move on to the topic of today’s newsletter.
Accepting that some avenues are closed to you can be incredibly freeing.
Some roads are closed
My friend Tim Urban is here. Please wait. But why.com Draw a graph of the life choices we have made to date and the crossroads that will open tomorrow.
It’s very easy for our brains to become hyper-focused on all the black lines in the past. That is, the closed roads, the decisions we didn’t make, the decisions we made, and how our lives feel “determined” right now.
“I’ve done this in the past, and that’s why the situation is the way it is now.”
“It’s too bad I’ve never done XYZ, it’s already too late. I’m so frustrated!”
“I don’t deserve to be happy because of the mistakes I made.”
We often forget that we can only connect the dots in our lives by looking back and making every decision based on the best information we had at the time.
(If you’re looking for a solid read, Matt Haig’s midnight library is a thought-provoking fictional story about alternative life paths and acceptance. Haig draws from the past A decision that almost takes one’s own life. )
So let’s talk a little bit about these black lines and the green possibilities.
Maybe some avenues are closed!
Taking all of this, I would like to make two points.
Chris Guilbeault, an author who has had a huge influence on my love of travel and inspired me to build Nerd Fitness, recently published an essay that says: celebrate behind closed doors.
We’ve all heard stories about people starting a particular career late in life.
As an example, “It’s never too late! Samuel L. Jackson didn’t play his breakthrough role in Pulp Fiction until he was 46 years old. ”
And Chris points out that sometimes…it’s too late.
While these stories are inspiring, the lesson that it’s never too late is not universal. Sometimes it’s too late! To believe otherwise is to believe in an illusion.
Some things in life have real deadlines. Not all, but some.
In other words, we sometimes cling to things we know we’ll do someday, refusing to accept the reality that maybe… well, it’s already too late.
Maybe we hate running but still hold out hope that we can run a marathon someday.
Maybe we hold out hope of writing that cookbook even though we don’t actually like cooking anymore.
You may find that some avenues are closed to you. we can accept this.
The future is not fixed either.
A few weeks ago I wrote about how the past is not fixedbecause the perception of the story changes.
It’s okay to accept that the dreams you had in your 20s may die.
But it is equally tragic to believe that it is already too late to change our future, that it is already decided.
Beatland Russell once said, “You are not obliged to be who you were five minutes ago.”
As Chris says:
It’s never too late for many things, and that’s a good thing. But sometimes that happens, and that’s okay.
It’s never too late to learn something new. It’s never too late to try something new.
However, it may be too slow for certain paths, and that’s perfectly fine.
In fact, it’s worth celebrating.
Letting go of certain avenues or accepting that some avenues may be closed frees you up space to make other decisions about your life moving forward.
Today you can decide:
- start powerlifting
- Take online classes for your new career.
- Try a new hobby.
- Please consult your doctor about weight loss aid.
You can’t go back in time to stop Kennedy’s assassination.
Some paths in life are now closed to us.
That might be fine!
Instead of spending a lot of wisdom regretting the closed black path, you can work on deciding which green path to take next.
-Steve
P.S: Need guidance and accountability to reach your fitness goals? Nerd Fitness has helped over 10,000 people with 1:1 online fitness coaching over the past 8 years. Click here for more information.
