A few years ago, I attended my friend Nick’s 40th birthday party.
As part of the celebration, he hired an impromptu comic. all I had to participate in learning improvisational comedy.
(I felt the shivers in all the introverts reading this newsletter).
We started suggesting fun scenarios and scenes for our participation and learned about the most important rules of improvisation. “Yes, and.”
Two simple words and all the basics of improv comedy:
When someone comes up with a scene, sentence, or situation, the only acceptable response is “Yes, and.”
- Yes: I accept! I accept and acknowledge that no matter the situation, no matter how absurd it is, it is true.
- And keep building! Like in a tennis match, after your impromptu partner hits you with the ball, your job is to hit it back. Build on situations and situations.
For example, if your impromptu partner says, “I’m a space pirate,” you can respond like this:
- “Yes, and I’m the space police, you’re under arrest!”
- “Yes, and I’m a first mate looking for a new crew member. This is perfect!”
- “Yes, my name is Captain Hook. Welcome to Pirates Anonymous.”
The “yes, and” rule is very important. Because there’s nothing worse than a bad impromptu partner.
Looks like Liam Neeson this short sketch With Ricky Gervais (makes me laugh every time):
“Yes” rule in life
As a “child prodigy” who used to be an overachiever and a pretty negative critic on the inside, I’ve worked hard to incorporate “yes, and” into my life.
The “yes” part is built around acceptance, and that’s what I’ve spent the past two years working on.
Check out my past essays consent and wabi sabi Learn more.
What I’ve been paying attention to lately is the “and” part.
As Dr. Kristen Neff points out in her book, self-compassionlife is complicated and so are humans.
“Judgment defines people as bad versus good and tries to capture their essence with simplistic labels.
Discerning wisdom recognizes complexity and ambiguity. ”
Nothing is as simple as it seems. Things aren’t as good or bad as our brains think they are.
So despite the voices in our heads that want to judge everything as black and white, yes or no, good or bad, we need to remember that life is a beautiful and complicated mess. There is.
Author F. Scott Fitzgerald once said:
The test of first-class intelligence is the ability to hold two conflicting ideas in the mind at the same time and still maintain the ability to function.
For example, a person must be able to understand that things are hopeless and yet be determined to change it in a different direction.
This is my job today.
Are there some parts of your life that don’t feel black and white, but could you make it a little more complicated instead?
Nothing is as simple as it seems.
Life is difficult and change is difficult. And you are a good person who is trying.
That means there is hope. and Hope is a warrior’s emotion.
Also, please go see it. Liam Neeson skit.
you’re welcome.
-Steve
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