I have tried to do some things differently in 2025.
Specifically, it moves towards the moments and objects that make me uncomfortable.
(Of course, this does not mean “an era of physical danger.”
Rather, I’m going to run Going towards What my brain tells me is, “This is uncomfortable, I don’t like this, I should avoid it.”
An email that I’m afraid to open. A scary conversation I have. A question I’m afraid to ask. The ability to be alone in my opinion (Yikes).
When I reach for my phone, Netflix, or PlayStation controller to avoid bored, uncomfortable or sadness or guilty…
I’m trying to build some discipline to pause first.
Don’t avoid, distract or entertain anything that’s actually happening.
To avoid zone out or running away, Monty Python style.
If you have the courage to sit there and really ask questions, there are valuable lessons to learn, “Why does this make me feel uncomfortable?”
Lean on the discomfort
Author Pema Chodron laid out the following in her book When things fall apart:
“We see discomfort as bad news in any way.
…Emotions such as disappointment, embarrassment, res, anger, jealousy, fear.
Instead of being bad news, these are actually very clear moments.. ”
These things can become incredible teachers if we give ourselves the space to learn.
But that’s quite a question for 2025:
Thanks to internet and mobile phones, we can hide every day from almost all the discomfort of our lives. There’s no need to get bored and feel “bad.” There’s no need to deal with the elephants in the room.
You can only release swipe, click, tap, or separation to avoid all “bad” feelings.
We can hide from them with endless entertainment and comfort (even if it doesn’t get what we really want).
Of course, those bad feelings never go away. They are still there and what we are avoiding will ultimately need to be addressed.
I know I don’t actually avoid it when trying to hide from discomfort. I don’t leave it in the box.
I’m trapped in Pandora’s box with the monster.
Blaze Pascal, a philosopher of the 17th century, said it best:
“All the problems with humans have come from the fact that humans cannot sit quietly in their rooms alone.”
These feelings are trying to teach us!
A lot of the discomfort is screaming to teach us something if we can reconstruct how we feel about them.
As Chodron points out:
“They are like messengers to show us, with a frightening clarity. It’s exactly where we’re stuck.
This moment is the perfect teacher and, fortunately, we are with us wherever we are. ”
There are ways in life to increase the quiet and unpleasant feeling until we are forced to deal with it…
But we can save a lot of time by recognizing fear, leaning faster and realizing that life is trying to teach us something.
That’s my challenge for you this week.
What if…
we Bored yourself?
We asked Really Hungry, or am I just soothing myself with food? ”
Have we admitted we were scared, anxious or nervous, and then asked (with compassionate curiosity) what was behind our emotions?
Life is trying to teach lessons every day.
We must be brave enough to be uncomfortable to see it.
-steve
