Steven Wilson Jr. was a scientist working for Mars Corporation. (Yes, a candy company).
One day his boss took him into his office and said something that would change his life.
“Stephen, you’re about to get a promotion.”
Normally it would be a congratulations, but this was meant as a warning from his boss.
In a past life, Stephen was a guitarist in a small indie rock band. He also spent his nights writing songs.
His boss knew that Stephen was a very good songwriter and knew where he really belonged.
He told Stephen about the golden handcuffs:
“You’re trying to get promoted and they’re developing you for the next level.
And you’re at some kind of crossroads.
Because if you take [the promotion]your dream of becoming a songwriter is gone, just like I thought it was 30 years ago. This will consume every part of you.
I can write songs and do this job now, but I don’t know if I’ll be able to do it in six months. So, I would like to give you one warning. ”
The little voice that had been in Stephen’s head for years began to get louder.
Six weeks later, with his inner voice screaming at ear-splitting volume, he handed in his two-week notice, which caused confusion. everyone (Excluding boss and wife).
He began working as a bartender and waiter to make ends meet, while honing his craft and trying to land a country music publishing deal…despite being rejected for not writing. “Brother Country” song:
This is what he said. genuine song. We can’t do anything about it…”
Years later, after finding some success writing songs for other musicians, he finally mustered up the courage, experience, and influence to start recording his own songs.
And last year, they finally released their debut album. father’s sonRolling Stone magazine called it one of the best albums of 2023.
Recently, Stephen An amazing cover of Ben E. King’s “Stand By Me” I’ve listened to it about 10,000 times in the past month.
(Seriously, watch this video. You’ll get goosebumps!).
Golden handcuffs vs unpleasant development
I also led a double life from 2008 to 2010.
My day job was at Sixth Man, helping promote and produce floating music festivals. But I also spent nights and weekends working on a small website that helps geeks get healthy.
My boss April and my mentor Andy (owner of the business) both knew where my heart was. They encouraged me to pursue the uncomfortable future of incorporating Nerd Fitness into my career.
16 years later, it’s still going strong!
in Oliver Berkman 4,000 weeksHe recommends asking specific questions when making decisions in life.
“Where in your life or work are you striving for comfort, even when what is required is a little discomfort?”
When you ask yourself, “What makes me the happiest?” you’re more likely to go for short-term, comfortable, and safe options.
Instead, each week we should consider which paths will make us grow as people and which paths will shrink us. We probably know the answer to that question deep down, if we have the courage to ask it.
Here’s Berkman’s advice:
“Whenever possible, choose uncomfortable expansion over comfortable contraction.”
Yes, pursuing “uncomfortable expansion” may not lead to songwriting contracts or business success. Sometimes things don’t work out because you chose an uncomfortable path. But it’s part of the process and can at least eliminate the possibility of unhealthy regret.
So today’s mission began.
Let’s ease the discomfort
Let’s follow the unpleasant developments in 2025.
- When you do strength training, We force our muscles into discomfort by lifting heavier and heavier weights, but they respond by growing and adapting.
- When to use food as a coping mechanism When you’re sad, angry, or bored, working on your relationship with food can be uncomfortable.
- When you have an unpleasant conversation We will finally be able to deepen our relationships and protect what is important to us.
In 2025, ask yourself the following questions:
Where in your life are you feeling comfortable, safe and comfortable? deep inside Did you know that the path of “uncomfortable expansion” is what you really need to grow and help you get what you really want?
You may not need to quit your job right away or commit to a new goal or change…
But it might be worth asking yourself this uncomfortable question.
Life is difficult, but change is even more difficult.
Uncomfortable.
scared.
Messy.
But if you can say no to comfort, it might be exactly what you need.
-Steve
P.S: We will be holding a free 5-day workshop For those looking to build new habits that will actually stick in 2025, it starts within days.
